in this valley there is only the sound of nothing.
breathing, slow and steady belies the desperation he feels,
the desperation that is all too real.
caught in the middle of should he leave this place,
(how much more punishment can he take?)
and should he stay and fight for them
(for “me and you”?)
instead of standing at the foot of a mountain,
he is at the foot of two.
in this season of deprivation
sleep seeps away from him like blood from a wound that just won’t close
(and may never heal?)
even the birds don’t sing anymore,
their colorful kind has faded from the forest floor.
where once the noise of animals rustled in the brush
there are now only empty habitats where even hunger is hushed.
the sun has crushed this land
with withering heat
even though it is long past noon
he knows he must decide something
he must decide soon.
Time is his enemy.
for all his power
he is still mortal
and the humanity that he clings to brings him to this…
this barren
somewhere between bitterness and bliss.
The only thing alive in this place
is the light in his eyes.
They are like all other eyes:
a maelstrom of magic,
twin black holes that hold the soul.
His is a mad mix of the violent blue of summer storms
and the gentle green of the calm between.
(those fleeting moments seldom felt yet so serene).
His unsteady circumstances are
a challenge to his balance.
he is on the edge and could fall so easily
has fallen before…
(the dis-ease is called “Always Wanting More”).
He is suspended on the fulcrum
on one end is fullness and
on the other end… less.
He feels so weak
but he knows there is no going back.
in this windless land
limbs never creak
and branches never crack.
He uses the dying light
from another short day
to measure the distance, and make his choice.
He treasures this feeling of spiritual intensity…
and the prayer that is his silent voice.
In sweat-soaked, blood-stained clothes
he pushes aching joints and bruised muscles
toward the head of the trail.
As he begins this next journey
he realizes that it has never been about
peace of mind,
or what rest he might find.
He knows how to climb this mountain.
One step at a time.
jbh
6.21.2012
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