Asunder

To protect me and project me I build
Shiny walls to keep out friends and strangers
That now have made a dam of steel and concrete filled
with distorted images of myself and dangers...

Fears and failures still keep many at bay
But those who make it through find
This massive thing: solid like my Will, strong as my Way
Standing against all but the Kind.

Scratches mark the surface in plain view
Made by the weak, angry god of my youth.

A vain hope for love is covered by
Gallons, tons, of water dirty with despair, dismay,
Rivers run riot then run dry then rot
Seraphim sigh, are sorry, say:
"This is all we've got..."

Then...a stranger's smile makes an impression
Generosity gives glimpses of friends
Chipping little niches with little knives
Even i-love-you's whispered with little conviction
Swing hammers steady at the steadfast wall:
Battering rhythm like a beating heart, brittle but alive.
God reaches through my pain, my grief, my hell,
Her arms hold me, she tells me it's going to be alright.
Cracks in my armor; I try to fight.
Tears on my face, water seeping from the well
Pools in hollows forming small brooks,
Bending downward like the Goddess' kiss, gentle,
Stars sparkle like freckles on Her face,
Letting go of my past and pain,
(withered fruit falling from a distant vine)
She does not ask me why i cry why i shake,
Her tears mix with mine...
Her stately saving grace a steady rain;
My world has become wider than this lake.

Now...the oceans are the floor of my house
And the wide blue sky is the roof
Trees are the walls shuffling from side to side
                            with restless roots...
Ask me what I'm feeling
     Lie down on this sand with me
             Look up at the cloud-covered ceiling.

2.2.2006