reflection

the day has faded to a dusty greenish-gray

like a tune I can’t remember anymore

from a song you won’t play for me anyway…

rain is squeezed like blood from plump

black turnip-shaped clouds

and I’m shouting:

housewithoutwallshousewithoutwalls

noshelterfromtherainnoshelterfromtherain

withoutwallsnoshelter

noshelter

no.

spin me with wind and gravity

till I end up undone…

sing me until I am a slurred song

with words and music blurred, piss poor;

and I’ll be just one more thing

you do not have time for.

My head is spinning even laying on this bed

Where you shoved me and

Everything is spinning and I’m sinning

against the one who loves me.

Each heartbeat thumps in my breast

Rapping solidly against my chest rasping

voice calling knocking on the other door

that should not be closed

            and should never be locked.

Did You dream of me

Before endless ebony was erased

During your eternal night without sleep.

Did you dream of me

When the Spirit chased darkness

Across the face of the deep?

Lord make for me a new shape

Poured with loving-fire into a new mold

One from which I can never escape

One that will not bend or break…one that will hold.

Make me new wine in new skin

From water freshly born again…

A miracle both molecular and medical

When I look at the mirror

(cracked stained glass smeared with blood and sweat and worse)…

When I look at the mirror what do I want to find?

That man who was so gentle, understanding, and kind

How has he changed?  Is he cursed?

Where has he gone this time?

9.19.2006